Don't be scared.
People want you.
It's just that you're not giving us YOU.
You're giving us some garbage you heard once.
Some ruminations of an old machine.
We are so hungry for "real."
I had a conversation with a good friend of mine, Alex, a young cool AF twenty-something and owner of Alfredo Films in Toronto.
He filmed a video for me.
I scripted it.
I did my schtick for the camera.
After, he said "Paloma, how about you just talk?"
I talked. 2 minutes from my heart.
We looked at each other.
It was SIGNIFICANTLY less crappy.
I was being a bad copy of someone else.
We need to stop pretzeling ourselves.
It impresses NOBODY when we pretzel ourselves.
You're not a motherfucking pretzel.
We've got some old thinking that's clogging up our brain tubes.
So new good stuff can't swim.
The old way of thinking was COMPETITION.
The new way of thinking is COLLABORATION.
The old way of thinking was "if YOU get it, I can't have it."
The new way of thinking is "I'll help you get it and you help me get it. There's enough for both of us."
The old way of thinking was "impress people above me so they will give me rewards."
The new way of thinking is "Help the people I want to help generously. They will want to give me rewards back."
Competition is a LIE.
Scarcity is a LIE.
It makes us buy shit.
But it's a false constraint.
We can ALL have what we want.
"The rising tide lifts all boats."
Competition is the old way of thinking.
I don't trust anyone who utters the phrase "THE COMPETITION."
It's a boring, unimaginative paradigm.
I'll be having no part in it.
You don't have competition if you're doing it right.
People are hungry for YOU.
There is always a market for quality. There is always a market for different. There is always a market for interesting. There is always a market for genuine. There is always a market for sincere. There is always a market for refreshing. There is always a market for unique expertise. There is always a market for problem-solving. There is always a market for inspiring. There is always a market for funky. There is always a market for "oh cool!" There is always a market for heartfelt.
Stop fucking looking beside you.
Only if you're a commodity is there someone beside you.
You're not a piece of white paper.
You're only feeling like a commodity if you've been playing the wrong game.
Too many talented people feel stuck and powerless. They are playing by the old rules: accept things as they are, feast on scraps of the old systems that make us beg and compete.
But my work is premised on the conviction that we can negotiate the lives we love; as Tim Ferriss put it: "reality is negotiable." E
ntrepreneurs understand that thinking like negotiators allows us to connect with other valuable people, trade resources and proactively create opportunities for ourselves and others. You don't have to ask for permission. You don't have to be the richest, smartest or strongest. If you can convince, you can succeed. On your own terms.
If you win a bad game are you a winner?
Stop trying to win before you decide if it's a game worth playing.
Protect the thing that's interesting about you like a small child in the ocean.
When you're brave, please share it with us.
We want you.