Awkward negotiation anyone? Tense? Stubborn? Deadlock?
1) Name the Elephant in the Room
"Stanley, these talks can be tough. But we both agree that we want to get the iguana home safe."
Tension is normal & natural. Shame shuts up when you name it.
2) Remind your Negotiation Buddy of Shared Goals.
"Moustafa, when it comes down to it, I know we both care deeply about this guacamole. I don't love garlic. You do. But I'm happy to be working with you on this."
3) Agree Even While you're Disagreeing
"Rodolfo, I TOTALLY agree that we need to notify clients when they're out of line. At the same time, let's consider a slightly different approach than leaving flaming bags of pigeon shit in their office."
"You're right that...at the same time..."
4) Don't Argue. They Will Copy You.
"You love Bon Jovi? Hmm, that's an interesting point. How did you come to that conclusion? Say more about that."
Everything they say is reasonable.
5) Use Common Desire for Closure to Gain Harmony.
"We both have better things to do than to fight over who carries it. Let's help each other steal the Mona Lisa. Here's what I'll do to sweeten the deal..."
6) Avoid trigger words like "but" and "you." Don't get emotional. Defensive = Death
6.5) Let them save face when they change their mind (so they can justify it to themselves & not feel like shit)
"Of course, your decision was perfectly reasonable based on the info you had at the time, Cornelia. Now we know that it's better not to feed our French bulldog flaming hot Cheetos."